Twin Desires Pt 7

Today is the conclusion of Part 1 of Twin Desires.  Katrinna and her twin's story will continue.  Stay tuned for  updates.  Meanwhile, we left off with Justin shaken from Katrinna's close brush with death. 

Chapter Seven

by

Macie Snow

 

                Justin pulls me to my feet as we look across the river, to see the gypsies rushing across downstream at a shallow bend in the river. I gulp thinking of how close I had been to being slammed against the rocks at high speed.

                Conroy was clutching his arm to his chest as the group ran to us, away from the Death raptor. The giant bird launches itself up, and begins to circle above us, screeching and waiting for an opening.

                “Bloody bird got me,” Conroy pants as the group stops in front of us. He quickly shows us his arm before holding it against his chest again. I wince upon seeing a huge, bloody gash across his forearm.

                “We need to bandage that,” I say, looking around for Zypher, and my saddlebags.

                “I’ve been through worse miss, but I appreciate the concern,” Conroy smiles, nodding to me. “Right now our biggest concern is that bird.”
                Justin turns to me and stares intently into my eyes. “Are you okay Katrinna?”

                I nod and smile. “I’m fine Justin.”

                “Good,” he gently brushes my wet hair back from my face before turning to the gypsies. “I have a plan.”

                The gypsies huddle around Justin while he tells them his plan, and I stare across the river, trying to think of a way to Zypher without exposing myself to the Death raptor.

                “Does everyone understand?” Justin asks, drawing my attention to the group.

                The gypsies nod, grim looks on their faces.

                “Okay then, let’s go,” Justin says, standing. He produces a shrill whistle, while the gypsies produce similar sounds, and the horses all come trotting up. Justin grabs Flinn’s reins and checks her saddle while the gypsies mount their horses. I run over to Justin and grab his arm.

                “What are you doing?” I ask as panic slowly working its way to my heart.

                “We are going to kill the Death raptor. Stay here,” Justin demands, mounting Flinn.

                “We shall dispatch of it quickly, do not fret,” Raldyn says softly, smiling at me. I frown and look to Justin.

                “Promise?” I whisper, grasping his leg. “Promise you won’t go and die on me?”

                Justin chuckles. “I won’t,” he looks up at the gypsies. “Everyone clear on their roles?”

                The gypsies all nod solemnly.

                “Good. Then let’s go,” Justin says.

                They all flick their reins quickly, causing the horses to leap forward. I watch numbly, uselessly as the Death raptor screeches and dives toward Ajax, who ducks and swings his sword at the giant bird’s foot. The bird cries out angrily and swoops up, circling before it dived again, this time aimed toward Justin.  The group scatters, each rider rushing in a different direction. The bird pauses, confused, before it continues to Justin.

                I open my mouth to scream out a warning, but no sound escapes my throat as terror grips me.

                The bird reaches its bloody toward Justin, and at the last minute Justin leaps from Flinn’s back and rolls before finding his footing in the shallow water. I blink slowly, watching as he draws his broadsword, specially ordered by Father specifically for Justin’s talents, and braces himself for the coming onslaught. Volos whistles loudly, drawing the bird’s attention, as Raldyn pulls out a bow and shoots an arrow directly into the bird’s right eye. The bird screeches, flailing to remove the foreign object from its eye as it quickly looses altitude.

                Ajax, Volos, and Conroy all lead their horses close to Justin before they in turn leap off, finding purchase in the shallow water. The Death raptor crashes loudly into the river, splashing water everywhere. Raldyn continues to shoot arrows at the massive bird as Justin, Volos, Ajax, and Conroy shout as they rush the bird. They all converge on it at once and immediately begin hacking away at it. The bird cries out and flails desperately for escape, but its feathers are drenched and it cannot take flight.

                I lift my fist to my mouth, stifling a plea for them to spare the bird as I watch it brutally murdered. After what seems like eons, the bird utters a soft, desperate cry before it collapses in the river. Blood and black ooze flow down the river as Justin and the gypsies stand still, panting to catch their breath.

                Ralydn lets out a joyous laugh. “We did it!”

                Conroy releases a sigh of relief and Ajax smiles hesitantly.

                “We must burn the corpse,” Volos states flatly.

                I frown, but Justin nods and gestures for everyone to drag the bird out of the river. They drag it to the opposite bank and I nervously look for a way across, hesitant to get back into the water that nearly stole my life. I watch as Raldyn starts building a fire around the massive corpse. Justin walks to Flinn and pulls flint out of her saddle. He walks over to the carcass and lights the dry wood. The fire quickly flares to life, slowly engulfing the bird. Justin looks around, and upon spotting me on the opposite bank, gestures me over.

                I shake my head as tears of frustration well up in my eyes. I couldn’t make myself do it. I couldn’t get back in the river. A look of realization crosses Justin’s face and he walks toward Zypher. Grabbing the black stallion’s reins he leads the horse across the river and stops in front of me.

                “Are you okay Katrinna?” he asks letting go of Zypher’s reins. The stallion walks to the edge of the forest and starts grazing.

                I shake my head furiously, a knot in my throat preventing speech as my tears overflow.

                A look of shock appears on Justin’s face and he reaches toward me but lowers his hand before actually touching me.

                “What am I going to do Justin? How could I ever save Katrinna when I can’t even cross a river? I’m beyond useless, and I’d just as soon save Katrinna as I would shove you off a cliff. I don’t deserve to be a princess, I could never be queen, could never rule. What am I supposed to do?” I wail, launching myself at Justin.

                Justin wraps his arms around me, gently embracing me. “Oh Katrinna, you’ll do just great. You ran after her without any regard for yourself. You put her safety above your own and you’re following your heart. You’ll be a fantastic queen.” He murmurs, gently kissing the top of my head.

                I shake my head, breathing in his scent. “No I won’t. Adrinna would. She will. I won’t ever be a queen. I’m not good enough. I’m too reckless. And I don’t follow my heart, I deny it because it wants to break the rules. A queen wouldn’t want to break the rules! I’m not a queen! I can never be, because I love you!” I sob into his chest.

                Justin hesitates before gently lifting my chin, forcing my to look into his eyes. “I love you too Katrinna, and I will help you be a good queen, because you will be. You’ll be the best queen this land has ever had.”

                My heart leaps to my throat. “You love me?”

                Justin nods, his lime green eyes sparkling. “And I won’t ever leave you.”

                I laugh and clutch him closer. “I’ll hold you to that.”

                “Good, now let’s go. We have to save your sister,” Justin says, lifting me onto Zypher’s saddle.

                I chuckle and clutch the saddle horn as Justin leads Zypher back across the river. We rejoin the gypsies, who had heard none of our conversation, but who looked at my tear stained face questioningly, and watch the Death raptor burn, trailing light purple smoke into the dusk sky.

Childish Fears

Our lives often feel like a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs, peaks and valleys.  Finding someone to share the ride with is often the difference between surviving and giving up.  Has Siam found that someone?  Or is this just a game to Laura?

Childish Fears

 

by

 

Ben Hannigan

Dear Diary,

I had been broken and bruised but was now healing, slowly in the arms of my lover, being supported and cared for. I was a mess but recovering.  Dressing with more of my old self and focusing less on my fears, I still trained though it was slower, less nasty and monitored by the others who reviewed my schedule. I lost the lack of care for those around me and whether I lived or died. My designs kept elements of my experiences as they were selling well.  The hidden blades and such appealing to people, the majority of my work however, returned to the older style; the gentler me, the college girl, bookish and casual.  The enduring motif was that you could be defiantly female, be it in blouses and skirts with fitted holsters or combat vests and BDU pants. We were working on a line of tailored body armour, drawing on the design of corsets which along with a pair of slutty heels and fitted trousers became my day “uniform” as a treat for Laura and a way to make me feel sexy.

The passion in my work-life was returning as we healed.  The fun expressive lover that I was becoming before the incident returning slowly over time. Diary, well Laura and I managed to fall back into a routine, mainly us but occasionally dabbling in the odd ménage et trois with Ben and his lovers, Sophie and Lucy. But mainly we were just us. That relationship Diary, I will admit shocked me.  Somehow, through my years at high school with the three of them, I had managed to miss every clue to the fact it wasn’t a couple and a close friend but instead, something more. Looking back now I wonder how I could have been so blind.

I even Diary, was lucky enough to witness one of the most erotic things in my world, partially as a thank you for saving me, partially something more. I witnessed my lesbian lover Laura, who up until now had never had any desire in this direction, take a male to bed. One night when we were all hanging out after work, she began flirting with Ben outrageously. When we returned to my place to watch a film it wasn’t me that she was draped over. I watched, amused as she did the things that she did to me to tease. I got to watch her making passes, pampering, massaging and loving. I was lucky enough to be with them in bed holding her in my arms as he took her virginity of sorts. Not that she had a hymen to break, but he was still her first male lover. Afterward, she argued that it was a gift to, in her words “thank him for saving Siam.” However, we all knew that it was more than that.  It was lust, desire, and love of the same sort Ben has for me. But out of respect for her, we let it lie.

We managed to move through the traumatizing events of our shared past and away from the conflicts and work towards something new and fresh. Taking the business and the brand, and even the family into new and different worlds. All this wonderful love as we waited. Looking back, it was such an amazing time.  Not knowing the crashing dip that awaited us just a few days after the events I’ve shared in this entry. This diary is to help me cope with what has happened in my life.  And so, I need time sometimes to write about everything. I am going to retreat to my Laura’s arms until I feel strong enough to relive the next few days in this tale, so until then.

XSiamX

Read part 6 here: Rage Against the Dark
Read part 5 here: Trouble In Paradise
Read part 4 here:  Acceptance
Reflections of My Writing
Read part 3 here: Freedom In HIding
Read part 2 here: Tears Before Bedtime
Read part 1 here: Teaching and Learning
 

Freedom in Hiding

Heya guys, back to see Siam and Laura yet again; watching them explore their feelings and to explore Siam's past, hiding from the past causes problems in the present. Hope it is as good for you as it was for me, now I am off for an ecig.

Dear Diary

The last you saw of me was me tangled in my partner’s arms as she teased my tummy, when I awoke I found her hand had crept up to my left breast. It felt wonderful to have this gorgeous creature snaked around my body. It was something new, something wonderful, not like when touched by boys at church who pushed too far and who used to letch and treated me like I was laid out on a slab for inspection and use.

She was gentle, kind and just starting to stir from her slumber. I could tell that just by the way her arm slowly moved and she began to apologize. It felt strange to be the one reassuring due to the incident last night but I was relaxing her, I started by gently clamping my arm round hers so that she couldn’t move it and said, “if I wanted it moved I would’ve moved your arm when I woke up about an hour ago.”

 I turned to kiss her gently and then with a rush of confidence I never before knew I had, I took that arm of hers, grasping her hand and slid it down my tummy, reveling in the intake of breath this caused from my very willing lover. My hand moved hers slow and gentle till it was obvious as to what its final destination would be, “Siam Darlin’, stop.” I froze and spun to look at her confused, terrified I had done something wrong and began to sob again. “But, but, isn’t that what I’m supposed to do, to be? You’ve been so wonderful don’t I have to let, to give…” I stopped there the words not coming out of my mouth, the question hanging between us and just being held.

“Sweetheart, that isn’t how it is with me. You don’t have to spread your legs as a thank you or because you think that’s what I want. I want a relationship with you, I don’t want to fuck you once and then leave. Whatever else I may be I am not that kind of boy,” at this she giggled slightly. “I am quite a butch girl and I am very attracted to how delicate and feminine you are, even in combats you were defiantly a girl; a gorgeous, pouty, sweet, gentle  and oh so desirable girl. Most girls in that kind of gear lose their gender under the combat clothing but you, no. Everyone knew you were a girl and I wanted to claim you as mine.. I am attracted to you, physically and mentally. I don’t just want you because you’re this delicate, loveable sweet lil thing, I want you because you are Siam O’Hannah, a smart, sweet naive girl who is a fantastic PA, a fantastic cook, and have massive amounts of potential as a designer.”

My head snapped up in shock, “What? How did you know I wanted to be more than your assistant? That I want to try designing gear?”

“I may have flicked through your notebook when you went for lunch. I think the ammunition carrier design has real potential and your design for fitting a 1911 magazine into the spine of an address book and a diary is a wonderful idea. You have promise and just need firearms experience to help fine tune your work!”

I was absolutely astounded Diary!  I had been told my designs had merit and, that I was attractive in less than thirty seconds of each other and told that unlike what I had expected based on what caused me to leave home, I could offer myself only as much as I wanted!  I took a deep breath, “Laura, did I ever tell you why I left Chicago to apply for this job?”

“No, is it important?”

“Yeah kinda.” I took my partner's hand and crawled into her arms, afraid to look at her.  “Well, I was twenty one at that point and living at home.  I had earned a design degree specializing in accessories because I wanted to be a designer and started applying for jobs in Chicago. Eventually, I found a job as a PA in a bank run by a friend of my uncle’s.  Well, I was working there and saving to move out when it happened.”

“It?” Laura interrupted.

I replied “Hush a second and I will explain.  Now, if there are no interruptions?” I replied taking another deep breath and kissing her hand for comfort.

“I came home, it was a Friday, the week before I turned twenty two, so the week before good Friday.  I walked in and put my stuff in my room and headed downstairs.  My Ma and Da were in the sitting room with a young man who I recognized as the son of the manager of my father’s workplace. My dad spoke and he said something which chilled me to the bone, ‘Mary’.”

“Hey wait a minute, Mary?  But your name is Siam, isn’t it?” Laura asked confused.

“Mary was the name given to me at confirmation, and my family uses it a lot, but anyway. ‘Mary’, he said, ‘we have decided, your Ma and I, to find you a partner. This is Steven, he is a good catholic boy and the son of my manager and you will respect us by following our wishes. Now go get ready for a date.’”

Continuing the story I allowed myself to think about that day again, I told Laura the truth:

“I moved to my room in utter shock that they would be so blunt and decide my life for me like that.  I knew they were strict but… I dressed in my most conservative dress and returned downstairs as my father was shaking the boy’s hand. I meekly followed him to his car. We drove to a small restaurant and right from the start it was hateful!  He laid his hand on my thigh without asking, pushing under my calf length skirt with no sense of respect for me. In the restaurant he ordered for me, he made all my choices even down to how much I could eat of the meal!  It was awful!  He paid and we left on his schedule.  We drove to a point that I knew of, but had never visited.  It was nicknamed “Cherry Hill” by the teens and had been so named for so long that there were handmade signs for that name. I was scared and worried. I was really uncomfortable, but he wouldn’t listen. I begged to be taken home, but he wouldn’t listen.  He said he was taking what was his.  His hand ran down my leg under my skirt groping at my” I swallowed, remembering. “flower and I felt sick.  He leered at me, the beer on his breath as he thrust his tongue into my throat.  I felt sick and scared, it felt horrible, oh god it was awful!; him pawing at me like he had earned me. He kept telling me over dinner that when we were married, I wouldn’t be allowed to work. I would raise kids and he would keep me barefoot and pregnant, my degree never used because he said ‘women shouldn’t be educated, they belong at home.”

I was sobbing in my girlfriend’s arms as I was back there.  I was back in that car, locked in that memory and all she could do was stroke my hair gently.

“He carried on and it was so terrifying, my dress tearing, he told me that he was going to take me and I was to lay there and relax.  To get used to it, that this was my future. I pushed him away and he hit me, my dress torn, his hand yanking my panties off as he pinned me in place.” 

I stopped relaying to Laura for a moment, my eyes brimming with tears at the memory, feeling like I was back in that car again.

  “I screamed as he groped my breasts and managed to hit him with a slap, knocking his head against the dash and I took his keys and fled, throwing them off the point to make sure he couldn’t chase me. I walked barefoot down the point until a car’s headlights illuminated my shaking body.  It, thankfully, was a friend from school; well two actually, Lucy and Sophie. They stopped the car when they recognized me, seeing that I was in a state, crying. They asked what was wrong. Shaking, I told them and asked to be taken home. They half carried me into the car and I curled into a ball and cried all the way.

They carried me into the house, my parents were waiting. They had been called by the boy and were waiting for me to explain. I told them what had happened and my father shouted.  Not angry at the boy, but instead at me! I was ‘meant to accept this’ he said. He said ‘you are a woman so you are meant to be at home’, ‘you are his to control and to dominate as he sees fit.’  I am ‘to obey,’ my father said.  Shaking, horrified, I ran to my room in tears and gathered my things. I didn’t want to be forced to spend another date as the plaything of that boy. Sophie called her boyfriend Ben who protected me from my father’s rage and mother verbal abuse until I left the house.  The three of us left in the car together, I wanted to thank Ben but I couldn’t go near him.  He understood, but I still hated the fact that I was so scared.

They helped me look for somewhere away from Chicago and away from my family. Even to the extent of driving me down to the interview here which we had found in a magazine on tactical shooting that Ben owned from his job as a gunsmith. They put me up in a flat owned by a friend of the family who I still rent from, and supported me through all my nightmares.”

I was sobbing at this point, holding Laura so tightly; asking her, begging her not to leave. Asking her to promise what she said was true. Diary, all she did was hold me tightly. She texted work cancelling our days’ work and just held me. We didn’t leave the bed till gone midday and even then we spent the day in our pajamas on the sofa watching old TV shows and talking. I did some sketching of ideas for a handbag that could carry a magazine and also mount a secure holster without being obviously a weapon bag.

 Laura was supportive and wonderful. We dined together in her kitchen, cooking in a natural rhythm that felt perfect, like we had been doing it all our lives. Handing off prepped ingredients with a kiss, providing drinks and utensils as needed, gentle cuddles as we floated past each other, we just clicked. I was kissed by her as we walked back to the living room after washing and drying together and it was what the princess diaries called a perfect kiss, the foot pop and everything. I don’t know why, but Laura treats me like a princess. Not the useless damsel in distress but as someone who can look after myself, but she helps anyway. I am being taken care of without being smothered. Protected without being bubble-wrapped and she shows she loves me without being suffocating.

 I fell asleep in her lap as we watched old episodes of M*A*S*H, and fed each other popcorn. The kind of thing that should have been sickly sweet and nauseating, but because it was her and it was done in earnest with an understanding of the saccharine nature of it, it wasn’t twee it was just lovely. I stirred as I was again carried to bed, her teasing me, “You just drift off because you’re too lazy to walk to bed.”

“Nuhuh, it’s just comfy being carried.” I retorted deciding to be childish. She giggled and kissed my nose casing me to wrinkle it and groan playfully. We hit bed and drifted off together, wrapped around each other just enjoying the contact after kissing passionately yet gentle. Always gentle with each other “G’night my love”, she said.  “Yours”, I replied contentedly as I burrowed into her touch surrounding myself with her body, my feet resting on hers, my back against her chest, her head resting on mine and her arms holding me tight as my hands clasp hers.

XSiamX