So the last message I wrote left me curled up in a ball, in tears, terrified that I had destroyed a friendship, and also kissed goodbye to a job that I wanted to turn into a career. It was three in the morning and I still hadn’t slept a wink. I heard a knock at the door and knew it must be Laura.
“Hey, Siam are you decent?”
“Yeah I guess,” I replied, wiping my face to try to hide the fact I had spent the last few hours crying.
“Hey doll? I think we need to talk,” she said as she walked slowly over to the bed, placing her arm around me.
“I didn’t expect the kiss,” at this I curled into a ball or tried to as she cuddled me and my head ended up in her boobs, even as upset as I was I had to notice that fantastic rack.
“But sweetheart I didn’t mind it.”
I looked up in shock at her and squeaked, “Really?”
She nodded and murmured, “If the tattoo wasn’t enough of a clue, I’m strictly girls only, and to be honest, I think you are pretty cute.” I blushed and let her continue. “I know you are confused right now.”
I snorted and muttered, “Understatement of the century.”
“But,” she continued, “if you want to try this then we can. Moving at your pace when you are happy to go deeper. Regardless of what happens, you will not lose me as a friend and it won’t affect our working together.” She held me closely and waited with bated breath.
I leaned upwards moving to a sitting position in her arms and got comfortable moving her hand to my tummy where I clasped it into mine. I paused for a moment enjoying the contact, “I don’t know what I am feeling or how to take this but I know I want you. Everything I was ever taught screams that I shouldn’t want you, but I do. I want you to take me out to dinner, go out with me to movies, to cuddle me, kiss me, do everything I was told a boy would do. I even want you to drag me to bed and...” here I looked around embarrassed and nervous before whispering in a breathy voice through the shock and arousal that the thought caused. “Fuck me till I scream.”
She giggled at that and her hand began to caress my tummy under the baggy tee I was wearing staying above the waistline of my pj bottoms. I melted into the touch and just enjoyed being held by my boss, who was one of my best friends and at least for now; my lover. I moved finally after what seemed to be hours of this contact and got on my knees facing her. I kissed her slowly. This time was different; it was a choice, it wasn’t automatic. It was slow, gentle, passionate and wonderful; me being the weaker partner in her arms, feeling safe. There was no pressure, no worries of right or wrong because there wasn’t any time for those. We kissed and kissed, not moving beyond kissing and gentle touching. Her hand staying on my bare back and my arms snaking around her neck.
I felt something I didn’t feel with the boys my parents approved of. Boys from church and awkward “dates” at church social functions, dances to records that were old when my parents first dated in dresses that were “appropriate” first, and attractive second, and boys who would either brag about their sports achievements preparing themselves for the title of Uncle Rico or Al Bundy in their forties. Or boys who didn’t know how to talk to girls or assumed that we were to bow to their every desire as they had been taught at home.
I wanted more, so much more, but didn’t know what to ask for. Didn't know how to talk to Laura about sex and desire. Heck, I don’t know how girls do that kind of thing, it was never an option in the world I had left. I mewled into her mouth, frustrated. She giggled as I almost pushed myself into her lap. I kissed her more aggressively but she could tell I was tired and in the hyper stage of exhaustion. Laura tried to move when she laid me down to sleep but I was still curled into her, cuddling close so that she wouldn’t leave.
“Siam sweetie, you have to let me go, you need to sleep.”
I yawned and mumbled, “Please stay.”
She laughed softly, musically. “Come on then, we wont both fit on the guest bed.“ She picked me up and carried me in her arms into her room and laid us both down to sleep. Under the covers; me curled into her, my back against her chest, my head supported by her boobs, and her head leaning on mine as her arm curled around my hips and rested in mine. Lulled by the soothing sound of her heartbeat I drifted into a very pleasant sleep.