The Good Girl - Chapter Eight

If this happens again, I'm going to spank you. 

How could one simply uttered ultimatum throw my world into absolute chaos?


Read Chapter One - Here
Read Chapter Two - Here
Read Chapter Three- Here
Read Chapter Four - Here
Read Chapter Five - Here
Read Chapter Six - Here
Read Chapter Seven - Here

The Good Girl

By Fiona Summerville

Chapter Eight

Enveloped within Thomas’ arms, we sat naked on the living room floor, silently watching the flames lick and dance their way around the logs in the fireplace. For the first time in what seemed like an eternity I felt whole and at peace. Never in a million years would I have believed the kiss of a leather belt on my bare bottom would be the source of such tranquility. But here I was, relaxed and happier than I'd ever been.

Reaching for the stemless wine glass on the corner of the coffee table, I winced slightly as the dull burn on my still tender ass cheek brought memories of the last few hours flooding back. An exquisite rush of heat raced over my body and settled in my core. I smiled and moaned softly as I tucked myself back against Thomas’ chest. Sense memory recall at its best.

“Everything ok?”

“Never better.”

“Still sore?”

“A bit, but nothing I can’t handle. You’re very good with a belt, Thomas.”

A chuckle rumbled low in his chest as he snugged me closer.

“I’m very good at a lot of things, baby." 

"Mmm...no doubt. I can't wait to experience all of those things personally."

Thomas nipped at my shoulder blade as he reached for the bottle of wine. He refilled our glasses and sat back against the sofa.

 "So, tell me. Where’s this Maxi been for the last few weeks?”

“Lost,” I whispered, as I brought the wine glass to my lips. “She’s been lost for a long time.”

“Well, I’m glad she found her way home,” he murmured against my ear. “I’ve been waiting to get to know her.”

I shot him an incredulous look. He sounded as if he knew I’d been play acting all along. But how could he? We’d met when he attended a deposition at my office, which happened to be Perfect Maxi’s realm. He’d never seen the real me until tonight.

"Maxi, Kendall introduced us at a party last year. You were there with a date, but I couldn’t take my eyes off you. Your hair was a wild, tousled mess and you were wearing a green velvet dress that made your eyes sparkle like emeralds. I wanted so badly to touch you. To run my fingers through that wild mane. But short of knocking your date over the head and dragging you out of the party I knew my desire was destined to be unrequited.”

He planted a kiss on my bare shoulder before nestling his chin on the spot his lips had been only moments before.

“A few weeks later I saw you again at Café Om...with Eric.”

Café Om? My stomach fluttered. Café Om was my sanctuary. I shifted so I could look back at him, startled.

"Yeah, I hang out at Café Om, almost every Saturday morning. And yes, I've seen you. The real you. Not the perfect girl who tiptoes around in those high heels like she’s walking on egg shells, but the beautiful, kick-ass girl who doesn't give a fuck what she looks like. She’s gorg-...you’re gorgeous, Maxi.”

My eyes burned as they welled up with tears. Taking a hasty sip of wine, I turned to stare into the fire. He’d known all along and patiently waited for a truth that had never come. How could I have been so stupid?

“I couldn’t believe my luck when I walked into your office for that deposition and saw you setting up the conference room. Remember when I ended up at your desk with some lames-ass excuse of looking for the restroom? I waited for you to realize we’d met before, but when you didn’t, I still took a chance and asked you out. Since then, I’ve waited for you to introduce me to the Maxi from the party and the coffee shop, but you never seemed able to. I just couldn’t figure out why. I even thought that sharing my dark side with you, might prompt you to reveal yourself. Instead I thought I’d frightened you off.”

“I frightened myself off, Thomas. You did everything right. You were straight forward and open about what you wanted. I was the one who wasn’t comfortable enough in my own skin to admit I wanted the same thing.”

“Do you want me, Maxi? I mean, really? I come with quite a bit of baggage.”

          “And, from what I saw in your bedroom, quite an extensive toy chest.”

His soft chuckle filled the room. “Naughty girl,” he whispered, pushing my hair away he planted a warm, moist kiss just below my ear.

"What do you get out of it, Maxi?"

"What do you mean?"

"The facade. The two personas. What do you get out of hiding?"

I shrugged.

"I guess I was just tired of being burned. If I was someone else, I couldn’t get hurt."

"You don't like being hurt?" Thomas snorted.

Given the events of the last few hours, the absurdity of my comment was not lost on me. I mirrored his snort and I rested my head back against his shoulder.

“I know how stupid that sounds, but it’s the truth. Besides, there is a difference between physical and emotional pain. And, I never again want to experience the pain I felt with -"

"David," Thomas interjected softly as he kneaded the tension from my shoulders.

How did he know about David? I'd never spoken about David to anyone except Kendall. Kendall. She and Thomas are friends. She must have mentioned something to him about my ill-fated relationship with David.

"I don't think I can handle another rejection like that."

"That's never going to happen, Maxi." He pulled me up onto his lap and spun me so I was straddling him. "Just be yourself. Let me in. All the way and I’ll never leave. I promise."

I believed him. Deep down, with every fiber of my being, I trusted his words. He’d seen the real me as well as the guise and had stuck around. And to think I’d almost lost my chance at a life with him because I was too afraid to be me. Stupid girl.

“I’m sorry for the deceptions and the indecisiveness, Thomas.”

"Shhhh…what's done is done. We only move forward from here. Deal?”

“Deal.”

"You know, you still haven’t given me your safeword."

“Oh! It’s “harbor”…as in “safe harbor.”

A look of confusion crossed his handsome face. “I never pegged you as a Nicholas Sparks fan, Maxi.”

“Oh no...not that Safe Harbor. It’s more about how I feel when I’m with you. Safe. Secure. No longer adrift. Blindfolds, handcuffs and all, you’re my safe harbor, Thomas.”

He grinned, his eyes sparkling a brilliant blue as wrapped me in his arms and pulled me tight against his chest. "You’ll always be safe with me. Just be yourself. I love you just the way you are. You're perfect, Maxi."

The End

The Good Girl - Chapter Seven

If this happens again, I'm going to spank you. How could one simply uttered ultimatum throw my world into absolute chaos?


Read Chapter One - Here
Read Chapter Two - Here
Read Chapter Three- Here
Read Chapter Four - Here
Read Chapter Five - Here
Read Chapter Six - Here

The Good Girl

By Fiona Summerville

Chapter Seven

"What do you want, Maxi?"

His tone was cold, flat with just a hint of exasperation. Not that I could blame him. At least a minute or two had passed since Thomas had answered his door and I had yet to utter a word.

I’d come seeking absolution. To admit I’d screwed up and ask for a second chance. I’d rehearsed and imagined every possible outcome for days. But now, staring up into Thomas’ icy scowl, I had no fucking idea why I was standing on his doorstep.

“Thomas, I –“

My thoughts froze as I searched his eyes for a flicker of something other than distain. It wasn’t there. His eyes were cold, black and distant.

"Maxi, just spit it out. It’s late and I’ve still got work to do.”

He had every right to be annoyed. I’d wasted enough of his time over the past few weeks with my indecisiveness. My eyelids dropped and I took a deep steadying breath. As my eyes opened, my gaze met his.

“Thomas, I’m sorry. You have every right to be angry with me. I was stupid. I should have trusted you, but I got scared.”

He shifted to lean against the doorframe. His manner was still aloof, but at least he was listening.

“I didn’t think –“

“No, you thought too much, Maxi. That’s your biggest problem.”

I understood now why he was such a shark in the courtroom. He gave no quarter. I toed the doormat.  

Ugh! Why was this so fucking hard?

I wanted another chance. A chance at a happily ever after with Thomas. Even if that happily ever after included handcuffs, paddles and ball gags. Ignoring my waning confidence, I huffed out a breath and started again.

"I want to be with you. I want to be the girl you want me to be. Teach me, Thomas. Please.”

"Too late, Maxi. The offer’s no longer on the table.”

He pushed off the doorframe and started to shut the door. Panic set in. I shoved my way past him and into the foyer. The house was dark except for the soft glow coming from the fireplace in the living room. Thomas stood stunned, mouth slightly agape, but he closed the door behind him. Great. I’d forced my way into his home. Now what?

Time to put up or shut up, Maxi.

Taking a hesitant step towards Thomas, I bowed my head. I knew I should look him in the eye, but I was afraid if I did, what little was left of my confidence would be eviscerated.

“Look Thomas, I get it. I over thought myself out of a really good thing. I sought the counsel of others when I should have been talking to you and then I just disappeared. But I want another chance. Please. I want to give you my safeword.”

"Sorry, Maxi. I don’t think you really want this."

My cheeks burned with embarrassment, but also anger. A knot twisted in my gut. I had finally figured out what I wanted. Who the hell was he to tell me otherwise?

"I know what I want, Thomas."

"Prove it."

Prove it? How was I supposed to do that? Wasn’t it enough that I was here admitting my mistakes? That I was willing to give him my safeword? Did he want me naked and prone before him?

Naked…My mind stuttered to a stop at the thought. I knew exactly what I needed to do to convince him.

My gaze locked onto his as I toed off my boots. Sliding my jeans down, I stepped out of them and slowly unzipped my hoodie, adding it to the pile my jeans had started. Thomas’ brow arched. He folded his arms across his chest, but his gaze never left mine. I smiled inwardly. At least I had his attention. The tank top came next. Followed by my bra and panties.

An odd sense of calm came over me as I stood naked before him. I’d stripped, not just physically, but emotionally as well. If he rejected me like this, it wouldn’t be for lack of trying on my part.

“You’ve been so patient with me, Thomas,” I whispered, taking a step to close the gap between us as I reached for his belt. Surprisingly deft fingers undid the buckle and pulled the belt free from the loops. I heard a sharp intake of air catch in Thomas’ throat as I smiled and held the belt out to him with trembling hands.

“I want you to use this on me.”

He took the belt, but made no other move.

"I want you to spank me, Thomas. Now, later, whenever. I want you to spank me, tie me down… handcuff me. I want you to do all the things you've talked about, but I don’t want to have to break a rule for you to do them.”

"How do I know you’re serious, Maxi?"

Oh for fuck sake! My temper flared again. Silly me. Apparently being naked in his hallway, begging him to use his belt on me wasn’t enough to convince him. Either he was being intentionally cruel or he was putting me through some weird BDSM litmus test. Fine. I was game. If he wanted see how serious I was about this…about him, I’d show him. I brushed past him to the door, and turned the knob.

“I’ll go stand on your front lawn and beg. Is that what you want, Thomas? Me, naked, on my knees in your front yard for all the world to see? Because if it is, I’m all over it. I will do whatever it takes to convince you.”

His eyes flashed. Black to blue and back to black, but he said nothing. A rush of cold air swept in as I turned and opened the door, preparing to step out into the night. He stepped forward caging me between his body and the door as he shut it. Oh, my God, that was close. A shuddering breath escaped my body and rested my forehead against the heavy oak door. I was thrilled he’d stopped me, but I was even more thrilled that I’d been willing to do such a thing.

His hands rested against the door on either side of my head. Our bodies weren’t touching, but the heat radiating from his body sent a shiver through mine. He leaned his head in, his lips mere millimeters from my ear.

"Tell me again," he whispered. "Tell me everything you want."

I fought the urge to turn and face him. I’d just surpassed another hurdle. It felt amazing but at the same time I was raw, vulnerable. I couldn’t look him in the eye. Not yet.

"I want you to be the one, Thomas."

"The one.”

"I want you to be the only one to do those things to me. I want you to come home after work and punish me with a wooden paddle. I want you to tie me to the bed and fuck me so hard you make me scream. I don’t want to think or talk about it anymore. God, Thomas, I just want to be me…with you.”

My voice broke. Now, I turned to face him, eyes burning with unshed tears. I’d almost lost a chance at happiness because I chose some ill-conceived notion of who I should be over the real me. I fell back against the door, exhausted. No matter what happened here tonight, from this day forward, I would never make that mistake again.

Thomas tipped my chin up, searing my lips with his. When he pulled away, his eyes were the brightest shade of blue I’d ever seen. He wrapped a lock of hair that had fallen forward into my face around his finger before letting it bounce away and smiled down at me.

“Oh Maxi, I’ve been waiting for you for so long. I thought you’d never show up, baby.”

The Good Girl - Chapter Six

If this happens again, I'm going to spank you. How could one simply uttered ultimatum throw my world into absolute chaos?

My name is Maxi McConnell and I live a double life. Don’t worry. It’s not nearly as nefarious as it sounds. It’s more a simple case of perfection vs. reality. The Perfect Maxi is just that… perfect. Impeccable clothes, immaculate hair and make-up, topped off by a sparkling personality. The Real Maxi…not so much.

I’ve happily played the role of Perfect Maxi for Thomas Graham, my sexy attorney boyfriend over the last several months. But something happened recently that sent our relationship careening into uncharted territory. It seems Thomas doesn’t want Perfect Maxi, he wants Good Girl Maxi. The only problem is I’m not sure how Real Maxi fits into the equation, or if she does at all.

Read Chapter One - Here
Read Chapter Two - Here
Read Chapter Three- Here
Read Chapter Four - Here
Read Chapter Five - Here

The Good Girl

By Fiona Summerville

Chapter Six

Thomas had given me one week. The gauntlet had been tossed, the ultimatum issued, and it was time for me to either give him a safeword or fade into the ether. And, to be honest, right now a trip around the universe with or without a spacesuit was looking pretty good.

Have I mentioned yet that I don’t respond well to pressure?

Real Maxi was slowly clawing her way back to the surface. Thick, unruly golden waves that refused to be tamed by any sort of clip had replaced Perfect Maxi’s sleek and shiny flat ironed hair, and her floral and frills sundresses had given way to Real Maxi’s favorite buttery soft, well-worn jeans. Good Girl Maxi, the one I never knew existed until Thomas came along, was fast becoming BFFs with Real Maxi and the two of them huddled around the computer as they visited a bevy of online sex toy shops picking out fur-lined cuffs, nipple clips and blindfolds as they planned ways to break Thomas’ rules in order to maximize the benefits, erm…punishments. And, while all this was going on, poor Perfect Maxi sat balled up in a corner, rocking herself and humming “I Feel Pretty.”

In short, I was a mess.

Thomas and I had met up earlier in the week. We’d gone to dinner and a movie one night, and a jazz concert at the Museum of Contemporary Art on another. He didn’t ask me about safewords, and I didn’t offer. He didn’t seem fazed by my appearance either. In fact, he seemed to like it. His hand had taken up residence in the back pocket of my jeans as we walked through the museum, and on more than one occasion, he’d reached over and wrapped one of my errant waves around his finger, giving it a playful tug before releasing it with a wink and a wry grin.

I should have been ecstatic by Thomas’ apparent acceptance of Real Maxi, but I wasn’t. She had always been my ace in the hole when it came to breaking things off with a guy. I’d let them get to know Perfect Maxi, but if they started to get too cozy, I’d give them a glimpse of the real me. Not that the real me is all that bad, mind you, but the deception and subsequent revelation was usually enough for them to break off the relationship without much drama. They would just stop calling, and I could once again let my guard down. It was a familiar pattern and one in which I found an odd sort of comfort.

Unfortunately, that modus operandi wouldn’t work if Thomas actually liked the real me, would it? I wouldn’t be able to force his hand as I’d done with so many others. The break, if there was to be one, would have to come from me. I just didn’t know if I could do it. My heart ached at the thought of how boring life would be without him, and, now that it was open, I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to close the door of dark desires he had unlocked.

So, I stewed. And I pondered. Evenings found me at home researching Thomas’ seductive world, and by the end of it all, I’d lay in bed touching myself as all the things he’d promised to do flickered through my mind like a Super Eight porno.

If you’re late again, I will spank you.

If you go behind my back, I will tie you down.

If you look at porn, I will clamp your clit.

His words resonated deep within me. I knew these were not just idle threats. He would make good on them. Hell, to a certain extent he already had. And, God help me, I wanted more. Still, an odd foreboding managed to seep in tainting my desires with fear and uncertainty. Reasons why I should not follow Thomas down the path he was forging ricocheted through my mind like a ball in a Pachinko machine, colliding and warring with the overwhelming sensations his promises elicited. I was terrified of giving in and losing myself to him. If I did, what would happen to me if…no, when he eventually discarded me for a new, more willing girl?

The real me wasn’t enough. She never would be, especially for someone like Thomas.

***

When Saturday arrived, I was in hyper-drive. Thomas needed an answer. Either I gave in, or I moved on. But, I still hadn’t made a decision. One moment found me quivering with anticipation of what delicious things might happen if I gave him my safeword, the next I wanted to jump online to book a flight for Rio and never look back.

So I did what I do best; ignore the problem at hand by distracting myself with the mundane. I read, dusted, washed dishes, and reorganized my closet. I even braved the blustery October weather multiple times trekking to and from the laundry room. It was on my last trip from the laundry room that I heard my phone chiming, alerting me to a new voicemail. Rushing over to the coffee table where I’d left it, I dropped the laundry basket on the sofa as I picked up the phone. My heart skipped. Thomas had called and left a message. No! Leave me alone! It’s too soon. I still have a few more hours to think!

Groaning, I tossed the phone onto the sofa, picked up the laundry basket and started to walk down the hall towards my bedroom only to stop. Heaving a heavy sigh, I turned and walked back to the living room. I silently cursed the voicemail function as I reached for the phone and retrieved Thomas’ message.

                Hi baby, I’m still at the office. I hate to do this, but can we move… (long static, garbled message)…meet…(static)…at three…(more static)…I have a surprise …(still more static)…and tomorrow afternoon? See you…(static) baby.

My shoulders sagged as relief washed over me. From what I could make out, Thomas would be working late, so he cancelled our date until the following afternoon.  Hallelujah! I had one more day to avoid the unavoidable. I was giddy. I had the overwhelming urge to break into a happy dance right in the middle of my living room, but instead called Kendall and arranged to meet her at The Three Clubs Lounge later that night. I been given a reprieve, albeit temporary, and I wasn’t going to waste a moment of it.

***

Later that evening, I blew into Three Clubs, ready to party. As I bellied up to the bar for a drink, I spotted Kendall across the room and waved. Kendall grinned and gave me the thumbs up, clearly pleased that Real Maxi had come out to play. My hair was a riot of soft waves, and I was rocking a leather mini skirt with a sheer black blouse, and my favorite skyscraper high Christian Louboutins that had cost me a month’s pay. I knew I looked good, but more importantly I felt good. For once in a very long time, I felt good being me. No caricature. No pretense. Just me.  

That realization helped me make the all important decision that had weighed me down all week. I was going to come clean with Thomas. Show him the real me. He deserved the truth, and so did I. While being far from perfect, I was generally a good person. People thought I was smart, funny, and quirky. Definitely quirky. If Thomas accepted the flawed, not so perfect Maxi, then and only then, would I give him my safeword. 

Drink in hand, I moved away from the bar and started walking towards Kendall when I bumped into my ex-boyfriend Eric.

“Hey Maxi! How’s it going?”

“It’s good, Eric. Great, actually. What brings you this far East? You rarely make it past La Cienega.”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I just felt like trying someplace different.”

“Well, it’s just me and Kendall. You’re welcome to join us if you’d like.”

“Sure! Hey, happened with that guy you told me about? Did you give him your safeword?” He winked and gave me a nudge with his elbow.

“Not yet. I’m supposed to tomorrow.”

“I guess that means no more vanilla lattes, huh?”

Rolling my eyes at his comment, we walked to join Kendall on the sectional she had scored in the far corner of the bar. Eric sat, and planted a friendly kiss on Kendall’s cheek in greeting. We took turn buying rounds and by the fourth, Kendall was on a quest to find Eric the perfect girl. He played along, but I knew nothing would come of it. He had more quirks than I did and it would take a very special woman to accept him for himself and not set out to change him. Besides, he really didn't need our help finding a woman. The man was sex on a stick when he wanted to be. 

When Eric left us to order another round, Kendall took the opportunity to dish on her kinky neighbors’ latest tryst. She was just getting to the juicy part when she paused mid-story, her eyes growing wide as they came to rest on something or someone behind me. I gave her a quizzical look watching her down what was left of her martini in one gulp.

“Maxi, I thought you said that Thomas was working tonight.”

“He is.”

“Well, then his twin just walked in and he's coming this way.”

My head snapped in the direction Kendall was looking. Sure enough, that was Thomas, and he was winding his way through the crowd toward us. Crap! I’d obviously screwed up and misinterpreted his message. Why hadn’t I called him back to confirm? And, how did he know I was here?

His dark gaze raked over me, but instead of the smoldering heat I usually felt, a chill coursed through my body. The hard line of his jaw told me he wasn’t pleased.

“Good evening, Kendall. Maxi…I take it you didn’t get my message?”

“I did! I mean, I thought I did. The message you left was garbled. It was a bad connection. I thought you were cancelling until tomorrow afternoon. How did you know I was here?”

His brow arched and he cocked his head to the side as he considered the plausibility of my excuse. Just then, Eric returned with drinks in hand and brushed past Thomas without a second glance as he set two martini glasses and a shot glass down on the ottoman in front of us.

“Here you go, lovelies. Two dirty martinis for two very dirty girls.”

Eric plopped down next to me and playfully nipped at the air just millimeters from my ear. I locked eyes with Thomas, silently pleading for him not to jump to conclusions. His jaw clenched for a moment then relaxed, giving way to a tight smile. Clearing his throat, he extended his hand to Eric.

“Thomas Graham.”

Eric glanced over at me and smirked then sat forward in his seat, extending his hand. “Eric Walker. It’s nice to meet you, Thomas. Maxi’s told me a lot about you.”

“Has she now?”

 “Oh yeah.”

Oh Lord, just take me now.

Eric snorted as he picked up the shot glass and tossed back the contents. “Dude, let’s just say the lady overthink-ith too much.”

Kendall smacked Eric on the shoulder as she tried to stifle a giggle. I shot her a furious glance which only made her giggle more. Thomas’ eyes shifted from onyx to sapphire as he fought back a grin. He held out his hand to me before finally letting the grin break loose.

“I have noticed that. If you two don’t mind, I’d like to get Maxi alone. Come on, baby. Let’s go home. We need to talk.”

Placing my hand in his, he pulled me up of the couch. Kendall and Eric were both waving me off and giggling like fools. Big help they were. A heavy sigh of resignation escaped my lips as I followed the path Thomas cut through the crowd to the front door and we walked in silence to his car.

Thomas opened the passenger side door and waited for me to climb in before leaning in to fasten my seatbelt. I swallowed down the knot that had formed in my throat. He’d seen me – the real me. I’d screwed up, essentially blown him off to go out with friends, and was still taking me home. Did I dare believe he might really want to be with Real Maxi? I sighed softly, drinking in the comfort of his nearness and all my remaining doubts evaporated.

My heart did a little flip flop as his hand drew away from the seatbelt latch and grazed across my lap. I inhaled sharply and he paused, turning his head so that his lips were little more than a whisper above mine.

“I really hope you have a safeword picked out, baby. I think you’re going to need it tonight.”

***

I woke up just then.

Staring at the ceiling, slowly unwinding fantasy from reality.

There’d been no movies or concerts at MOCA. No Three Clubs with Kendall or Eric. 

I hadn’t seen Thomas since the night he’d issued his ultimatum. I’d done what I've done so many times before; faded off into the ether without even so much as a goodbye.

And in that moment, as the veil of my dream finally lifted, I realized I’d made the biggest mistake of my life.

The Good Girl - Chapter Five

If this happens again, I'm going to spank you. How could one simply uttered ultimatum throw my world into absolute chaos?

My name is Maxi McConnell and I live a double life. Don’t worry. It’s not nearly as nefarious as it sounds. It’s more a simple case of perfection vs. reality. The Perfect Maxi is just that… perfect. Impeccable clothes, immaculate hair and make-up, topped off by a sparkling personality. The Real Maxi…not so much.

I’ve happily played the role of Perfect Maxi for Thomas Graham, my sexy attorney boyfriend over the last several months. But something happened recently that sent our relationship careening into uncharted territory. It seems Thomas doesn’t want Perfect Maxi, he wants Good Girl Maxi. The only problem is I’m not sure how Real Maxi fits into the equation, or if she does at all.

Read Chapter One - Here
Read Chapter Two - Here
Read Chapter Three- Here
Read Chapter Four - Here

The Good Girl

By Fiona Summerville

Chapter Five

"But Maxi, you're so…vanilla." Eric sat back in his chair and chuckled softly, clearly amused by my confession that I thought I might want to be spanked. The waitress delivered our drinks, and I kicked myself mentally. Ugh. Why had I ordered a Vanilla latte?

"See what I mean?” He snorted as he took a sip of his Red Eye. “Vanilla, just like your latte. You never deviate from the norm, Maxi. You order the same exact drink every time, and you come the same exact way every time."

I should have been shocked by Eric’s comment, but I wasn’t. I admired his honesty. It’s the reason I’d sought him out. Well, that and the fact that he was the “naughtiest” guy I’d ever dated. I knew I could talk to him about my situation and he would give me the straight dope, not sugar-coat it for the sake of decorum or to spare my feelings.

Eric and I had dated for three months. And they were, until Thomas had recently ratcheted up the thermostat, three of the hottest months of my dating career.  He and I fucked in movie theaters, department store dressing rooms… Hell, he’d even managed to sneak us into the Greystone Mansion where we fucked in the ballroom, on the staircase and in one of the fifty some odd bedrooms.  It was decadent, gothic, and made me feel so amazingly naughty. What seemed funny to me is that even after all that, Eric still considered me “vanilla”.                                                                                                                  

"Max, you wouldn't even let me blindfold you, and now you want to be spanked?" 

I shrugged.

"You're still in Perfect Maxi mode, aren’t you?"

"How can you tell?"

He reached across the booth and tugged at a lock of my freshly flat ironed hair.

"Come on Max, there’s not a hair out of place. I bet he also thinks you’re a housekeeping goddess." 

I rolled my eyes at his comment. Eric was the only of my exes that I’d kept in contact with. Ultimately, we were better friends than we were lovers. Granted, the sex had been amazing, but we were too much alike. I shoved dirty clothes under the bed, and his were piled high on one side of his closet. When our fissures started to show, we faded as a couple, but the friendship remained, and had grown stronger over the years.

"Let me ask you this, Maxi. When he says he wants to spank you, does the thought excite you? Does your body react?” 

I stirred my latte and nodded, not making eye contact with him.

"Then maybe you are into that sort of play, Maxi. I’m mean, you did enjoy fucking in public places. I guess it’s not so hard to believe you might like a bit of rough play. You just never knew it, because it had never been an option before," he snorted softly. "It kinda bums me out that I didn’t go there with you. It could have been fun. Just do me a favor. For your sake as well as his, figure out where your boundaries are. Ok?" 

"But how do I do that?"

"All you can do is give it a test drive. Has he asked you for a safeword?"

I nodded.

"Good. If you do decide to go through with this, and things get a little hard for you to handle, don't be afraid to use it. From what you've told me about him he sounds like a pretty stand up guy. He wouldn't think any less of you if you had to use it."

I knew he was right, but did I even have the nerve to get to a point where I might have to use a safeword? While the body seemed willing, the spirit was still comfortably straddling the fence. But all that would change later that evening.

***

"Maxi, I told you that I would spank you if you were late, correct?”

"Yes, Thomas,” I answered, confused at his question. I hadn’t been late since the evening of the foreign film.

"I told you I'd put a clamp on your clit if you looked at porn without me, true?"

Yes. However, that had been such an incredible experience. I was contemplating getting caught again. I nodded.

"And that I'd fuck you in public if you walked around without panties?"

Once again, I nodded in the affirmative. Where was he going with this?

"So Maxi, tell me what you think the consequence is for seeing another man?"

My eyes locked with his. How had he found out? Meeting Eric for coffee wasn’t a date date.  I started to defend myself, but stopped. I didn't want to play twenty questions. I wanted him to tell me what would happen. Needed him to tell me. So I sat back in my seat, and silently issued the challenge. I don’t know. You tell me, Thomas.

He leaned forward and propped his elbows on the table, and rested his chin on his thumbs. "You do like having things spelled out for you, don't you Maxi? “

I looked up at him through my lashes and nodded once more.

"Alright, fine.  If you and I were in an exclusive relationship, which technically we’re not right now, and you chose to see another man behind my back, I’d give you two options.”

"Options?" I whispered.

"We'd either break up…"

 “Oh no, Thomas! There was nothing to it. He’s just a friend.  I only met him for coffee to ask his advice. I didn’t think – “

"Or," Thomas continued, halting me mid-mia culpa, "I'd tie you face down in the center of my bed, fit you with a ball gag, and…” He paused mid-sentence, eyeing me across the table as he sipped his wine.

Watching him watching me set a shiver up my spine. He seemed so nonchalant about the whole thing. I, on the other hand, was not. While my mind might still need convincing that it was interested in his sort of play, my body did not. I was wet, quivering and silently begging my mind to stop over-thinking the situation. You know you want it. 

His eyes caught mine and held them, burning a path straight to my kinky little soul. I wanted to look away. I probably should have, but I couldn’t. They were dark, smoldering pools of quicksand, slowing pulling me under, and for once, I was going willingly.

"And then I would oil up your tight little asshole,” he smirked and his eyebrow quirked up. “Have you ever been fucked like that, Maxi?"

A gasp escaped my lips, and slowly shook my head, never breaking eye contact with him. The quicksand was up to my neck now.

"Mmm… That’s good. I'm looking forward to being the first,” he whispered, shifting slightly in his seat. “It would hurt at first, but I’d go slow. Let you get used to the feel of me tucked up inside you, stretch you out. And then when you were ready, I’d fuck that tight little hole until you came. And you would come, baby. Hard. We both would.”

I squirmed in my chair. The quicksand was just below my nose now.

"Who was the man?" He asked quietly. His tone calm and even keeled. Nonetheless, I shivered.

"An old boyfriend."

"Why did you meet him?"

"I had questions."

"Questions?"

 "About stuff. This…that,” I gestured with my hand as if to encompass the scenario he had just finished describing. Although, Lord knows Eric and I hadn’t talked about that.

Thomas laughed out loud. "Jesus, Maxi, you and your research, that’s all you think about all day, isn’t it?"

My face flushed.

"And night,” he snorted softly then reached across the table, covering my hand with his.  “You’re totally over thinking this, baby. You need to relax."

I laughed. Relax? He expected me to relax after he stirred me up with all his talk of tie downs and ball gags?

"What sorts of questions did you have for him, Maxi?" 

The quicksand had made its way just over my nose, and I finally looked away, but Thomas grabbed my chin and made me face him. My brain was scrambled. I had too many thoughts, and visions ricocheting around to piece together a cohesive sentence. Why had I met with Eric? What wisdom had I expected to garner from him?

"I'm not sure. I guess I just needed a sounding board."

“Why him?”

I shook my head and snorted softly. “He was the naughtiest guy I knew. At least until you came along.”

His eyes shifted back to blue, and a broad grin split his face. "Baby, you don't have to go to someone else with your questions. You could just ask me."

My mouth went dry. Ask him? Maybe I did want him to do all the things he’d talked about, but I don’t know if I’d be able to have a conversation like that with him, at least not right now.

His eyes twinkled as he drew my hand to his lips, brushing them softly across the knuckles. "Maybe I’ll make you ask me."

I sighed, my eyes silently pleading with him. Yes, please make me. I’ll do or say anything you want me to.

"Have you thought of a safeword yet, baby?"

I had, but telling him would mean total surrender… to him…to myself…to this new world he was offering, and I couldn't bring myself to do that, at least not yet. I shook my head. "No, no yet."

"I won't wait forever, Maxi. You have one week. If you can't tell me by then, I guess I’ll have my answer."