Monday, February 25, 2013

All I want.... Finale by Cathy Brockman

 Are you ready for the Finale? Brace yourself!!

All I want…Finale

The next couple months flew by. Jimmy and I can’t get enough of each other. He makes me feel so alive. So wanted.

“I am glad you took my advice and went to see a doctor.” Jerry slips his hand down his pants and adjusts himself or scratches before sitting down at the table.
“Pour me a cup of coffee will ya?” He flips open the newspaper and starts reading.
I want to pour the coffee on your head.
“What do you mean doctor?” Sitting the coffee in front of him the realization strikes me like lightning.
“Uhhh, Yeah. You could say something has made me feel much better.” There! I didn’t lie.
“I’m glad you’re finally getting out of the house. You were really becoming one hell of a bitch.” He takes a sip of the coffee, dribbling a bit onto the paper.
I glare at him in disgust. It’s a wonder the paper doesn’t burst into flames as hot as my stare is. What happened to the fun loving, energetic, teasing, sexy man I married?
He gained twenty pounds and got complacent that’s what.
I pour my coffee in a thermos and slip on my sandals, pick up my handbag and head to the door. Hearing the click of the door opening Jerry finally looks up from the paper. One eyebrow slightly arches in surprise.
I pause. Is he finally going to apologize for how he has been acting these past few months? Years actually?
“Where’s breakfast?”
 The force of the door slamming seems to vibrate through the house.
It took all my strength to not smash him in the head with the first thing I could grab. But that would be my coffee pot. He’s not worth that. Instead I will work off my frustrations on Jimmy. I am sure he won’t mind at all.

We have been seeing each other several times a week now, so we meet at several different places instead of just the coffee shop, to keep people from getting suspicious.
‘Meet me at the park. Stay in your truck.’ I text him as I get into the car. 
 Walking around to the driver’s side of his truck swinging open his door, I lean in kissing him harshly. Our teeth clack together, tongues meeting in a hot frenzy, and our lips bruising. We finally stop to come up for air.
“Damn Babe, That was amazing! But you got me all worked up.” His eyes heat up with desire, his strong arms holding me tight, and his large hands rest on the curve of my ass.
Slightly tugging him toward me; he climbs out of the truck and pulls me tight. I can feel his erection already straining against his jeans. I remember when Jerry was this eager. When he couldn’t seem to get enough of me. When did that all change?
He leans his head back slightly, still keeping our bodies close. “What’s the matter babe? You sounded so urgent when you called?”
At least he is concerned. Jerry would have taken his release before bothering to ask me. If he asked me at all.
“Do you have to work today?” I try to remember we are standing openly in a public place. But all I want to do is drown my sorrows in this man’s amazing body.
“Not until later this evening. Why?”

I whisper into his ear, nipping playfully. “Let’s go to the motel? Take our time.”
I nod.
“What about your husband? Don’t you have to be home to fix dinner?”
“He is going to a bowling tournament tonight. He won’t be home till very late tonight, or early in the morning that is.”
“Ok I’ll call into work. Where do you want to pick me up?” I look at his inviting bulge and get an evil idea.
“Pick me up at my house. You can drive today.” He looks surprised but doesn’t argue. He never argues. He’s So accepting.
“Won’t he be suspicious when he sees your car at home?”  He lets out a frustrated sigh. Pulling away slowly he climbs into his truck.
“I’ll be home before he does. I don’t really care anymore though.” I shrug and climb into my car. I blow him a kiss as I head back to the house to drop my car off.

Part of me wants Jerry to notice the car there and me gone. Maybe he would worry about me. Show some concern.

 When I get home Jerry is already gone. Not even a note reminding me about the tournament. The cereal box sat on the counter still open. The milk and an empty bowl sat on the table. The spoon dribbling a small puddle of milk lay beside it. How can one man make such a mess with a bowl of cereal?
I pack a small bag with a sexy negligee, some deodorant, clean underwear, and a toy I had thought would be fun to add to our explorations.
Jimmy pulls up as I dash out the door. He planned for us to talk on the trip over but I had something else in mind. He could talk, I would listen.

He didn’t do much talking.  Instead he did some begging for me to stop, then not to stop, and a lot of moaning as I teased and taunted him with my mouth and my hands the entire ride over.
 I know it was dangerous but it was exhilarating. I haven’t done anything that crazy and wanton since I was a reckless young girl.
Since I had him so worked up even before the trip I made sure he came. I did wait until we arrived at the hotel though.
 Watching him throw back his head, arching in the seat gripping the steering wheel so hard was amazing. I wanted him inside me so bad, but I had plans for the rest of the morning, and afternoon, then we could take a nap before enjoying the evening. Ahh the pleasures of a young man. Stamina, and lots of it!
We took advantage of the extra time together by spending the entire day in the hotel room. Most of it in bed. Regretfully we decided to stop and get a bite to eat before heading home.
We walk hand in hand into a little roadside diner It is surprisingly crowded and noisy, though there are plenty of empty seats. It seems to be mostly truck-drivers interspersed about and a large group of men gathered around a few pushed together tables in the center of the room.
 All of a sudden the noise dies down to a dull hum. The  large group of men suddenly go quiet and the ones with their backs facing us turned to stare.
 My heart froze.
“Teri? What the…” He stammered, his hands clenching at his sides. The men on either side of him hold tightly to his arms as he rose quickly, practically knocking over the chair and a few dishes on the table.
I don’t know what was worse, the mixture of shock and pain on his face or the crack in his voice.
 What have I done?
 Jerking my hand free of Jimmy’s, I turn and run out the door. Jimmy is right behind me. He reaches for me but I pull back. What do I do? Where do I go? I look around panic stricken.
I turn around. Jerry is standing outside the door. One of his friends comes out and says something to him. He assures him there will be no violence and the man reluctantly goes back inside.
“The car.” He grabs me by the arm and pulls, glaring at Jimmy.
Jimmy steps forward. Jerry’s grip tightens possessively.
“I’ll take you home.” Jimmy hands curled into fists, his jaw tight, eyes fixed on Jerry’s rough grip.
“Or somewhere safe.”
“You just get the fuck out of here. Don’t you ever come anywhere near my wife again. EVER!” Jerry drops my arm and steps forward.
Jimmy holds his own, though he is much smaller than Jerry. He looks at me imploring.
“Did you drive?” The edge in Jerry’s voice slices through the air.
My heart aches as I see the tears welling in Jerry’s eyes, the taught lines of his ruggedly handsome face as he grits his teeth.
 I shake my head.
“Jerry.” I reach over to touch his arm, expecting him to jerk away. I was surprised when he fell into my arms, silent sobs racking his chest.
I look up at Jimmy still standing a few feet away and see the pain on his face. Damn! What do I do?
I pull back from Jerry.
“I need to go talk to him.”
“Just tell him good-bye and whatever the fuck you’re doing is over. Jesus Teri, he is just a kid.” I see Jerry head to our car. A horn honks and headlights flash as he pulls out the remote to his car.  The door bangs shut, motor racing to life.
“Don’t tell me this is goodbye?”
The pain on Jimmy’s face was almost more than I can bare. I never meant to hurt him. I look at him in shock.
Did he really think I might choose him? Hell! Of course he did. He never thought he was just something to ease my loneliness, to boost my ego. A toy.
 He thought what we had was real. How the hell did I not see that? All this time I thought we were on the same page. I thought he knew this was just a fling. He couldn’t be serious with someone of my age? With one fell swoop I break two men’s hearts.
“You know I love you? I am going back to college in fall. Come with me.”
I almost faint. Another big surprise. What next?
“Jimmy.” Something in the tone of my voice must have given my answer away.
 For the second time in less than ten minutes I watch another grown man fall apart.
I wrap my arms around him.
 BLEEEEEEEP! A horn blares out.
 “Will he hurt you?” Jimmy pulls back.
 Damn! His heart is shattering and he is worried about me.
BLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! The headlights flash now. I guess that’s my signal to hurry up.
 I shake my head and turn towards the car.
“Call me tomorrow and let me know you’re safe.” He hesitates. “And if you change your mind.” I just nod and get into the passenger seat.
  The tension is thick and there is a chill in the air despite the heater being on. Jerry doesn’t say a word until we are almost at our house.
“Are you in love with him?” His voice still sounds horse and crackly.
“No” I answer truthfully. The entire ride home all I could think of was please, don’t leave me. Please give me another chance.
 I knew the moment I saw the hurt on his face that I would do anything to be able to take it all back.
 His hands shake as he turns the key in the lock. He pushes the door open and steps back for me to enter. Bang! I jump as the door slams shut behind me. Jerry’s lips slam into mine furiously.
Twining his hands tightly in my hair, he pushes me against the door. The harsh kiss turns passionate fast. I gasp in astonishment.
He lets me up to catch a quick breath. Our eyes meet. I haven’t seen so much passion, desire, and need since our honeymoon.
 He pulls me back into him. His lips meet mine again. Still urgent but not as violent. Strong and possessively his tongue invades my mouth. The swell of his erection pressing into my belly surprises me. Butterfly kisses touch my cheek, behind my ear, my neck. His hands trail my body as if remembering and relishing each and every curve.
“Go get in the shower. I can smell his cologne on you.” His voice is thick with need.

I step out of the shower and practically trip over him, standing there watching me as if he was afraid I may disappear. His always perfect hair disheveled, his shirt unbuttoned exposing his thick hairy chest, his hand rubbing his thickness over his jeans. Holy crap he is so sexy. There is the passionate, carefree man I married.
  As I’m reaching for the towel he grabs my arm, yanking me back to him.
I moan as our mouths unite again. This time his kiss is pure hunger, need. I see the glint in his eyes as my tongue joins his in an erotic dance.
His strong hands cup my wet, naked ass as he lifts me. I wrap my dripping legs around his waist and  he carries me into the bedroom.
   Letting out a hungry groan, he falls on top of me as I land in the center of his bed. Our bed.
He makes love to me like he never has before. Long and full of heat, lust, and love. I come over and over, wondering when he is ever going to stop. Hoping it never ends.
Collapsing on top of me, he shouts out my name as his body pulses, filling me with his hot seed.
We fall asleep tangled in a heap of hot, sticky, and exhausted limbs.

I waken and gaze at the man in my arms.  Dark stubble outlines the strong, masculine face, and his lips still swollen and red from all the kissing and exploring of my body. The scent of sex and sweat still fill the air with memories of our passion.
He holds me tightly like he is afraid to let go. The long soft eyelashes flutter, and pale gray eyes meet mine. I expect a look of accusation but all I see is love.
“Let me go freshen up. Then I’ll make breakfast and we can talk about it.” I try to turn over to get out of bed.
His arms tighten as he kisses my cheek.
“There’s nothing to talk about.” He states matter-of-factly, his hands now trailing down my back, caressing my skin softly. Soothingly. Lovingly.
“I owe you an explanation.” I pull back to look into his eyes. I think his eyes were the first thing I ever noticed about him all those years ago. Soft gray, like a morning dove, full of light and life. His every emotion would reflect in the deep smoky depths. The little crinkles of laugh lines now just emphasize, and improve them.
“No. I owe you an apology. I know why this happened. It’s all my fault. I took you for granted.”
My mouth opens and closes like a hungry fish. Not at all the reaction I expected.
 He kisses me softly and lets out a soft sigh. I feel his body growing thick against me.
Damn! After my marathon with Jimmy yesterday and the triathlon with Jerry last night, I’m not sure I have it in me.
“Jerry.” He stops me with another kiss. This one’s long, deep, obsessive.
“It happened and we can’t go back and erase it. If I wasn’t neglecting you, I don’t think you would have ever strayed. Would you?”
I just shake my head. I can’t believe he is being so loving, so forgiving. Blaming himself.
“I need to know one thing. I asked you last night, but I need to hear it. Did you love him at all?”
I shake my head.
“I need to hear you say it. I need to hear you tell me that you still love me. Like you use to.” His eyes meet mine. “You know he is in love with you don’t you?”
I was shocked at the note of sympathy in his voice. But that was another of his traits I admired so much, that caused me to fall in love with him immediately, his compassion.
“No Jerry, I never loved him. I do have feelings for him. We became close friends. I didn’t realize until he told me last night that he was in love with me. But yes I can let him go. I WILL let him go.” I corrected myself.
“Damn Teri, he looked so young. I hate that he is gonna get hurt in this, but I can’t share you.” He looks at me wistfully. “What do you want? I will do anything I can to fix this. To be the man you need. Want. I’ll try to be the man I used to be. I can forgive you and forget this ever happened. I caused it. I’ll never ever take you for granted again.” His hands slid lovingly up and down my body, his eyes following, as if seeing me for the first time.
His hand slips between my legs, spreading them gently. He rolls me to my back, kissing me. First my lips, down my chin, my neck, my chest, pausing to pay homage to my hard nipples. Those sexy, soulful eyes filled with passion and love like I have never seen before, watching me as his tongue burns a hot wet trail down my aching body. I gasp and arch into his face as he teases me. His deep, throaty moans are like soft rolling thunder warning me of the torrent of passion I am about to receive. He raises up suddenly. His whole body envelops me as he kisses me. The bitter taste of me mixed with the taste of him is like an aphrodisiac, as if I needed one. He made love to me again, gently, meaningfully.
What do I want? Everything I ever wanted, needed, is right here in my arms. It has been right in front of me all this time. Hidden by the comfort of the life we built together. Disguised by our complacency.
“You.” I gasp.
“All I want is you!”
 “All I ever wanted was you.” He whispers into my ear as he holds me tightly. Our bodies both still echo the throes of our passion.
“Call him. You have to go tell him in person. Let him down as easily as you can, but make it final.” I look at this man and wonder how I ever could have betrayed him. But I did. Now I will have to face the consequences of my actions. It won’t be easy.
“I love you Jerry.”
“I love you too Teri, I always have and always will. Now go fix breakfast. Go talk to him then come back and move your stuff back into our room.” He stands up, scratches his head, grabs the nearest garment, and tosses it to the floor after wiping himself off.
“I think I would have died if you would have chosen him.” His voice was low and sad.
I look at him in awe. Chuckling to myself as I realize even with all his bad habits, every I ever wanted had been here along. I just couldn’t see it for all the clutter in my heart. It took almost losing him to figure it out.
“All I ever wanted was the man I married. Welcome back.”

Not the End but a new beginning!

If you missed the beginning you can find it here
Part 2 here
Part 3 here
Part 4 here

Well what did ya think?  Were ya totally shocked?  I would  love to hear  what ya  thought about  it!

No comments:

Post a Comment