Oral Dilemma: Confessions

Things are heating up in the gym and outside it as well. Roxy and Luke have reached a comfortable groove in their training and relationship. What will he think once he finds out she used to be 'the fat chick'?

Oral Dilemma: Confessions

by

Ellie Mack

Read part 6 here.

Read Part 1 here. 

Read Part 2 here. 

Read Part 3 here.

Read Part 4 here. 

Read part 5 here
    Luke and I easily fell into a routine. I spent far more time at his apartment, but I kept my room in the dorm. There were times we needed our space and privacy, needed to focus and concentrate on our studies.

After just one month of training with Luke, I could see a marked improvement in his agility as well as my own. Our first match was looming, just six weeks away. It was time to get stricter on our diets.

“Roxy, I can’t. You’re killing me babe. I know I asked you to train me and get me in shape but damn woman, you’re killing me here.” He stretched his long legs out on the sofa, with his feet in my lap. It was his reward for finishing the sprints in record time, a foot massage. He wiggled his toes as I rubbed the lotion into his insteps and the arches of his feet.

“You want to win, right?” Well, we’ve got to make some changes in our diets. Not drastic. Trust me in this, OK? When I dropped” I bit my lip as I nearly blurted out, I was instantly panicked. “Hang on, I’ll be right back.”

I practically ran to the bathroom as he stared after me with a puzzled look. I glanced back just before I ducked inside. Standing, hands on the edge of the sink I began breathing slow, trying to hide my racing heart. Luke was a great guy but what would he think if he knew I used to be fat? I nearly told him about my weight loss. In doing so it would tell him just how fat I used to be. What would he think? Should I tell him? Should I keep it a secret?

I really liked Luke. What would he think of me? My eyes teared as I thought through the pros and cons of telling versus not telling him. In the end I decided that I wanted honesty between us so I wiped my eyes and washed my face, flushed the toilet before I went back out to face him.

“What is it Roxy? Did I upset you?” His brow was scrunched with worry and concern as he stepped towards me.

“Um, no. Sit down Luke, we need to talk. There’s some things that, well, I’m not proud of but you should know.” I sat nervously as he took my hands in his.

“What is it Roxy? I’ll try to change my diet really. I was just giving you grief babe.” He lifts my chin to look in my eyes. When he sees the tears welling there, he squeezes my hand. “Tell me what’s bothering you. Is it something I said?”

“No, Luke you’re fine. It’s not . . . Well” I let out a huge sigh. Here goes nothing. Or everything. I sighed again thinking how I could begin. “OK, I wasn’t always fit. In fact I was quite large. I was fat all through high school, until the summer before my senior year. I watched his face looking for a change in his expression but there wasn’t one so I continued. “I uh, well I started training with a guy at a gym that my dad knew when my sister and I stayed with him over the summer. Between working fifty hours a week at a physical job and going to the gym I dropped nearly fifty pounds. Then throughout the school year I dropped another thirty.” I waited for his reaction nervously.

He sighed. “Wow, Roxy. I had no idea.”

He just sat there silent for a few minutes, my hand in his. I was about ready to just leave when he began. “I uh, well when I graduated from high school I weighed over 300 pounds.”

I froze. I did not expect that. “You? Really? I have a hard time seeing you heavy.”

He raised his brows giving me a smirk. “You’d never have looked twice at me then Rox, I was just a fat geeky nerd kid. Then, in March of my senior year my dad had a heart attack. My mom had to buy a special casket for him because he was obese. I was obsessed with the size of the casket because I knew that I was nearly the same size as him. This is really sick, but when my aunts and uncles were all there in the room distracting my mom, my cousin and me snuck back through the doors we had gone through to pick out the casket. We were being really quiet you know? So, I come to the first display that we had looked at and I climb up into it, and I barely fit. I Know it’s weird, don’t look at me like that.”

“You actually climbed inside a casket?” I was shocked and a little amused.

“Well, I tried. I barely fit though and sort of got stuck. My cousin tried to help but in the process we knocked the casket off the stand, and when it fell I fell out of it. We ran out the outside exit door and around to the front of the funeral parlor. I didn’t want to explain to anyone what I had done or why. But, you see? I was as fat as dad and he died. That meant I could die and I didn’t want to die. I’d dropped thirty pounds by graduation, and another twenty over the summer. When I started as a freshman I was at 262.”

He reached over to a dogeared yearbook and opened it up for me showing me his picture. I had to look close, at his face and back to the picture. It was definitely him. “Wow Luke, I had no idea. What did you do to lose it? You look amazing and I never would have guessed that you were ever heavy.”

I pulled up a couple pictures form my cell phone. I had destroyed most of my fat pictures but there was a few that I kept for reminders and sentimental reasons. This was me, my junior year just before a party. There was a guy there - and we started dating that night. Then this one” I fingered through the pictures to the one of Chad and me where I was at my heaviest. “This is me tipping the scales at 254.”

“Who is the lucky guy?” He looked a little disappointed.

“Ugh. That’s Chad Ramsey. When I came back home from my dad’s that summer Chad tried his best to fatten me back up. Then I found out he was cheating on me, with a girl that was larger than I was. He was really into fat chicks - not into me. Then I found out he had recorded us doing, you know and blasted it all over the Internet. 

I threw a cheap shot at him, one that would get me banned from any dojo. I decided then he wasn’t worth my time or efforts except for sabotaging his recording equipment. He recorded us without my knowledge or consent and somehow I’m going to pay him back for that one.”

Luke pulled me close. His lips were on mine softly, gentle caresses over mine with his. “Roxanne. You are beautiful whether you are thin or heavy. I’m glad you chose to be fit or I’d never have met you so you can whip my butt into shape. But most importantly, I love the woman you are on the inside.”

Our kiss deepened. Talk of our pasts forgotten as his palm brushed over my nipples, my fingers combing through his thick hair as we forgot all else. Nothing else mattered at that point. Once again my mouth was getting me in trouble because when Luke kissed me, the world receded and it was just him and me and the distant roar of the ocean in my head.