Friday, June 29, 2012

How my Ex-boyfriend got me my new BETTER boyfriend!

(Sorry, I've been rushing to complete Camp NaNoWriMo had no time to write anything so here's a story I wrote after my boyfriend broke up with me...again)

"Ugh!! Fine, be that way!!” I screamed and threw my phone onto the floor and kicked it, my best friend Andrew watched me from the other side of the room and sighed.
That’s a $300 phone you’re kicking across the room…” He got up and walked over and picked it up. “Everything alright?” He asked even though I was sure he knew what was wrong. I’d just spent the last hour yelling at my EX-boyfriend on Facebook.
No, everything is NOT alright! That good for nothing boyfriend of mine is a scumbag!!” I snorted and wanted to throw my phone again. Andrew was still holding it, probably for protection.
Ex...” Was all he said before he started to play with my phone.
What?” I exclaimed, my rage temporarily short-circuited.
Ex-bf! He’s your Ex-bf! Remember?” I looked at him confused as he was saying Ex with quite some force, and I blinked then shook my head.
Right, Ex, how could I forget?”
Technically, since this is your Second break-up, he could be your Ex-Ex-BF?” I just continued to stay at him and shook my head. I snatched my phone from him before he could read my texts or FB posts. This was after-all private.
Just no more throwing…” He sighed when I saluted him and went back to his seat with his comics, I’m sorry… graphic novels.
I’ve been thinking about this since New Years Day…”
When he ditched you alone in Ohio?” Andrew added before I had finished, I nodded and snorted.
But, we just have no future together, so I’m dumping you and dating my Ex-gf from 10 years ago! Who has money and a car, things you do not have! What a prick! And he texts me and asks me if it was OK that he was hanging out with a “girl” at work. I was like “Why are you asking my permission? I’m not your girlfriend!” Then he admits it’s not a “girl” it’s his ex from 10 yrs. The coward wouldn’t even tell me the first time, just lies about it, a “girl”? UGH!”
Before I could throw my phone again Andrew yanked it out of my hand and sighed. I jumped as I had not seen him get up and walk over; I was too into my rant.
What’d I tell you about your phone? I’m not listening to you whining for 2 years because you broke your phone!” He took my phone back to his seat and laid it on the bed next to him, at least he wasn’t trying to look it.
Why would he dump me, someone with no future for another woman with less future then me?! Is it because she has money? A car? Because they can have sex?” I admit my voice turned a little whiny by the end. I sighed and plopped onto the chair in my room.
How do you know they will have sex?” Andrew asked me from above the top of his graphic novel.
Because they did 10 years ago that’s how! Every guy I date dumps me after a few months, because they get tired of not getting any sex, so they find someone who will! MAN!! My taste in boyfriends sucks! Like Sucky sucks!!” I sighed again and Andrew looked at me.
Sucky sucks? Really? What kind of Writer are you?” He smiled at me and I stuck my tongue out at him.
The kind that makes up words!” I sighed once more and Andrew got up and walked over to me and sat on the other side of the chair and lifted my legs up so he could fit better.
I’m sure it wasn’t you. I know they all say that, but it’s not true. You’re pretty, sweet, kind. You give people many chances even when they never deserved one, let alone 2 or 3!” He patted my legs and smiled his charming smile at me, well, he calls it charming, I call it cheesy.
You just called me naive, stupid and loser!” I sighed and buried my face in a pillow.
I did not! That’s what you heard! There is a guy out there just waiting for you, dying to date you, and he will do anything for you, and will never ever hurt you!” He went all quiet and I peeked out from behind the pillow to see what he was doing, he was looking at my phone with disgust.
Oi! No reading my private stuff!” I threw the pillow at him and somehow got my legs down and pounced on him. He was quite surprised because he yelped and fell off the couch with me on top of him. I was struggling to get my phone out of his grip, and he was just laughing at me. He rolled me over so he was on top of me and he still had my phone above his head out of my reach.
Now what ya going to do? You can’t move or reach!” He smiled at me, he was quite close to me and I hoped my cheeks weren’t as red as I felt they were. I stared up into his beautiful green eyes and saw them almost smile at me and twinkle. I thought back to his words about the perfect guy out there for me, who loved me, cared about me, and would do whatever it took to make me happy, and was dying to date me. Also, he use of “Ex-bf” like 5 times in a row, not to mention the emphasis on “EX”. He always did hate my bf’s, then again if my taste in guys sucks as much as I think it does that’s probably why, but there could be another reason why…
So, you think there is a guy out there for me?” I asked randomly and he blinked at me and lowered his arm slightly.
Yes Angela, there’s someone for everyone out there…” He smiled that cheesy smile again and I tried not to gulp and hoped my face stayed neutral.
Well, what would he like?” I asked, and tried to keep my voice straight.
Well, he would love to read like you do, love movies, put up with your random but cute temper tantrums…” He smiled again and I blinked. Did he just call my temper tantrums……cute? I tried not to smile and kept my face as neutral as possible.
What else?”
Well, he would protect you from all the jerks in your life that cause your cute little temper tantrums, and spoil you rotten, treat you like the person you should be treated like. And know that you hate being treated like a Princess, and want to be treated like an equal, not someone lower or greater than them.” He smiled that damned cheesy smile, and was it getting hot in here or was it just me?
That’s, that’s a lot…I don’t think he exists…or at least nowhere near me…?” My mouth had gone strangely dry and why was I panting, he wasn’t sitting on my chest, so why couldn’t I breath right.
Oh, I don’t know! He may be closer than you think…” He was smiling that cheesy smile again, except this time…I didn’t find it as cheesy, in fact it wasn’t cheesy at all, was quite…charming.
You think? Will it take him long to…” I gulped, I could feel my face flush and my panting was getting worse, and I was stuttering. “Get here, you think?”
Nah! Not long at all…” He smiled and sat up and handed me my phone. I sat up and massaged my chest like he had been sitting on it.
I bet he’ll be here before you know!” He had stopped smiling and got up and went back to his graphic novels.
 I suddenly felt very disappointed, and I had no idea why, I sighed and got up. I thought to myself, that maybe he was already here and I was being blind and stupid and overlooking the obvious choice. I looked at him and tried to get his attention but he was avoiding my eyes, I sighed.
Andrew…you’ll never get a girlfriend if you get her all riled up then leave her disappointed and alone!” I put my hands on my hips and he looked at me shocked, but still didn’t move.
I sighed and decided to take matters into my own hands, it was after all 2012, women can make moves as much as guys can. I took a deep breath and walked over to him, he stood up and looked at my quizzically.
I think that special guy is already here!” My heart was beating so hard I was sure it would explode from my chest. He frowned for a few seconds and then smiled that charming smile I think I will grow to love.
Oh really? Then where is he?” He mockingly looked around for this Special Guy’.
He’s right here…in front of me…he’s the guy who will care for me, love me, protect me, and spoil me…but most of all…treat me like a person, like the person I deserve to be.” I smiled a version of his charming smile at least I hoped it was. He laughed, wrapped his arms around me, which made my heart flutter even more and my panting get worse.
Took you long enough, I was about to put an ad in the newspaper! ‘Best friend in love, need help to get friend to notice!!’” He smiled that charming smile again, and I was right, I do love it now. I sighed one of those girly I’m in love sighs and leaned in to kiss him.
I would never of seen it…I don’t read the newspaper…” I smiled and he laughed and kissed me with the force of five long years of waiting and wanting and as I wrapped my arms around him I wondered why in the hell it took me so damn long to do this…oh…yeah! And DAMN could he kiss!!