Sunday, July 1, 2012

By Your Soul

Like Mother like Daughter!!  a poem by my lovely daughter!! Margaret! Enjoy

            By Your Soul   

(one of my old poems I found...)

by Margo Burton on Monday, May 17, 2010 at 1:38pm ·
I hate your hatred but I'm stricken by your soul
I have no better way to explain it
Beautiful soul, hateful mind, unavailability
I should have kept you
I should have left you go a long time ago
I should have tried harder

In my defense, I'd thought that my heart
My soul, my hope would be enough for you
You were all that mattered for so long
That I forgot myself, indefinitely wrong
I loved you so much that I hated me
Those prudent feelings re birthed my insecurity

That's why it went downhill
You can believe I'll always feel
And think and care and love
More so than my own good
You're wrong, I'm wrong; I wish we could
Overcome it this time

Never again; my best friend
Sabotaged my soul mate, caused our end
There's no going back, no more love you'll send
The only string attached to my sanity was severed
Love knows no end, I still have that sense
Adore the memory of your loving gaze, become tense

The real reason I want what we had
The idea it was so timeless although ended sad
This departure has reinforced my knowledge
That perhaps I don't deserve one so true
I've proven it before, did it again
You're beautiful and I'm adapted to a negative man

Powerless to make you love me anymore
It's still there surely but not strong enough
Can't overcome speculations of infidelity
Maybe it's for the best, this absurdity
Had it not happened, we'd have drifted apart
Still losing the only significance left in my heart

So, sudden or gradually it was bound to turn vile
I felt it weeks beforehand but welcomed denial
It had to end, but we can't remain friends
Your eyes keep me away although I see them constantly
Soulfully & hauntingly they hurt me, remind me
That I've not been born to be happy & have consistency

I realized long ago that I couldn't fulfill you
It expanded so large that I couldn't be regretful
Sometimes the hard times don't seem too rancid
But I can't make it work if you don't want it
Not allowed to push me around, bring me further down
I'll watch your lips move without hearing a sound

This failure is disheartening, can't take it lightly
Holding in my tears because I'm wound too tightly
To erode me facade of hope, my mind listening
Knowing I can't find myself with you, or alone
But alone there's a chance to block the nonsense you send me
You're great, not a cold heart but you won't surrender to me

I want nothing more than to take back these lines
As if nothing happened and we'd kept our minds
I don't mind sharing a soul but at what cost?
Hah! Happiness with my heart intact without impending loss?
Try harder to make it work but can't have you completely
You never made the leap and gave yourself to me entirely

Think, I observe & I trust you were in love
But not enough to help us rise above
As much as I want to turn around, I must give up
Should I not, I'll drag us back down
When we work through the impossible & turn things around
It seems worthwhile, this dream but reality is crowned

I still think it's worth the pain, to be distraught
That's our most important difference; patience can't be taught
You can't reach inside and find me inside of you
Can't grasp the depth of what's inside, so far inside
True love for you, but not enough to make you cry
I have yet to get it out but I've been meaning to try

Alliances mindfucked me in shocking reality
I'm left thoughtful & speechless while truth obscures me
I can't get back what we were lucky to find
Though in a way you'll remain in my mind
Knowledge being the soul reason I won't cross the line
Attempting to rediscover what drowned in our crimes

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